Archive for » July, 2009 «





Controlling Temper Tantrums
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Controlling temper tantrums in toddlers can often feel like a losing battle.  Somehow through the screaming you are expected to keep a level head and remain calm.  How can you possibly do this if your own patience level is low and your instinct is to react?  Unfortunately, reacting is the worst thing you can do since you are probably frustrated already, this will only fuel the tantrum to escalate.

So how can you remain calm and stop the temper tantrum?  Every child is different and how they react in any given situation isn’t going to be predictable, but the tips below are ways that have helped many others get through the difficult toddler years. 

The first step in controlling temper tantrums is to distract your child from the event causing the negative feelings.  Distraction is a wonderful tool to use on children, it is often very easy to get their minds on other things and prevent a tantrum altogether.  Try it the next time you see your toddler’s emotions start to turn.  

If the tantrum has already escalated, and it is too late for distraction, the next step is to remove your child from their current surroundings.  You do this for two reasons; the first is to get your child to a safe place where the tantrum can run its course where they won’t be able to hurt themselves or others.  The second reason is to hopefully shorten the length of the tantrum; sometimes without an audience your child’s tantrum will come to an end much faster.  Your lack of reaction to the tantrum will also speed up the process; children are attention getters, if they aren’t receiving attention for throwing a tantrum there won’t be much reason for having one.  Controlling temper tantrums is possible by being patient and calm; it isn’t always easy to stay this way during the tantrums, but in the end it is the best thing you can do.

Tantrums can be very frustrating, sometimes scary and almost always embarrassing if you are in a public place.  Just remember to stay calm when a tantrum begins and don’t let the tantrum dictate the choices that you make.  If your child is throwing a fit because you won’t buy them a toy they’ve just seen, don’t just give in and buy the toy to avoid a tantrum.  It is important to stand your ground, show your child that you are the authority figure and that you will not be influenced by their tantrum.  Yes, you may have to endure a tantrum, but in the long run if your child knows that they will not be getting what they want, future tantrums are less likely. 

In conclusion, often the best way of controlling temper tantrums is to distract your child and see if the tantrum can be avoided or at least lessened in severity.  Stay calm and keep your own emotions in check, get your child to a safe place to hopefully shorten the tantrum’s length and keep your child safe. Also, stay strong, and don’t give into their demands, this will only increase the frequency of the tantrums as they will know how to make you do what they want.

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Homeschool Piano
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Learning to play the piano has evolved and can now be accomplished by simply logging onto your computer. This is a great benefit to home-schooled children as they are now able to learn to play the piano along with their everyday studies without leaving home. Even if their parents have no idea how to play the piano, with homeschool piano programs available online it may even be possible for parent and child to learn to play together.

The downloadable software that is available online today is fun and easy to learn from and will engage children and keep them coming back for more. The pressure of recitals will be off so they will be free to experiment and learn at their own pace. This can offer a level of fun that traditional lessons sometimes lack. The programs teach the basics as well as more advanced techniques and they will learn how to read music as well as how to play a piece by ear. If parent and child learn together from homeschool piano programs it can create a bond that is unbreakable. It can empower a child to see that their parent doesn’t know everything, and by letting their guard down and becoming a student again right along with their child it will teach their child a great lesson in life.

Homeschool piano has a lot of advantages too since learning the piano can be an excellent way to enhance a child’s other studies. There is a lot of math involved in reading music and the coordination they develop playing the piano can help them tackle other instruments down the road as well. Learning the piano is like learning another language, it can benefit a child greatly to flex their brain muscles in this way. It isn’t easy having your left hand do something completely different from your right, and add in the pedal and reading music you have quite a bit going on at the same time. But children are little sponges and can pick up on these techniques so quickly childhood really is the best time to introduce the piano.

In conclusion, homeschool piano is the wave of the future. While I’m sure there will still be plenty of people out there paying for traditional lessons, a larger number of people will be learning this wonderful instrument because of the accessibility of lessons online. Learning in this way can be a lot of fun for a child and it is easy to integrate piano lessons into their other studies.

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How to Talk to Toddlers
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As a mother of two I can officially say that I speak two languages.  The first is English and the second, toddler.  If you have ever been around a toddler you know this to be true.  Their little minds work so differently from our own that in order to deal with them and communicate effectively you have to change how you communicate.  By learning how to talk to toddlers early on, I have been able to side step many conflicts that normally would have resulted in a tantrum.

The techniques I use are really quite simple, common sense sometimes and other times just approaching things from a different perspective.  For example, if my toddler asks me for a cookie and it is an inappropriate time for a cookie, rather than simply saying no I approach the subject in the following way.  I assure my child that I heard their request and that I would love to comply, but in order to allow them to have the cookie they would have to do something in return.  For instance, if it is close to dinnertime I would let them know that they could have the cookie if they eat 5 pieces of broccoli.  If they are asking for the cookie at bedtime then I would let them know that they could definitely have one in the morning after they completed a task of my choosing.  I choose to pick my battles, having a cookie is not a big deal; saying no entirely to the request could become a very big deal.  So instead of saying no, I change the situations to work towards my advantage.  If I need them to do something, allowing them to have something they’ve asked for anyway can be a great way to bargain. 

I’m sure you are saying to yourself, “that would never work in my house.”  You may be right, but this could be for a couple of reasons; your requests are new to them and at first defiance is going to be their initial response.  Also if they are used to getting their way or being told no there is a trust that must first be gained.  Once your children understand that you will follow through with your agreement with them and that you are the authority figure and you aren’t going to give in, future results using this technique will improve.  But that being said, I realize that all children are different and some techniques simply aren’t going to work for them.  All you can do is try; changing your own techniques and how you talk to toddlers is a much better choice then simply putting up with unwanted tantrums.

If you’d like to avoid tantrums completely, change how you approach situations.  If you are going to request something, like getting dressed, be sure to have a pleasant tone of voice and form your request in a way that your child will feel like they are helping you out if they comply.  Also, give them a choice, instead of just saying “go get dressed” ask them which pants they’d like to wear that day, pink or blue?  Giving a toddler two options to something will almost always result in them picking one and jumping right into the task at hand without feeling like they are doing a “chore”.

My final advice is to always come down to their level if a tantrum is about to start.  By looking them straight in the eyes and showing them understanding and compassion, they are much more likely to respond in a positive way.  Learning how to talk to toddlers in this fashion can be the difference between a huge temper tantrum and no tantrum at all.

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Discounted Family Vacations
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Can a vacation still be fun if it isn’t to an expensive resort or exotic location? Suppose your children are constantly whining that all of their friends are getting to go to Hawaii, how can you compete with that when you are living paycheck to paycheck and have no money set aside for a vacation? Discounted family vacations can be incredibly fun; you don’t have to skimp on the location or activity simply because you can’t spend as much as your neighbor.

There are so many travel sites with discounts and deals available it is completely possible to find an affordable vacation if you know where to look. It may even be possible to go to a resort for considerably less than most if you set aside some time to do some research. For instance, a trip to Disney World might typically cost you $5000 for a family of four if you weren’t careful. But there is a lot of information out there about Disney World that could help you save thousands of dollars and have an amazing trip for only $3000. Discounted family vacations can be just as fun as an expensive one if you know where to cut corners on the costs.

For example, within the Ultimate Disney World Savings Guide there is an abundance of tips on how to save money while vacationing at the Disney resort. The advice is given by a former cast member and can save you thousands of dollars by changing how you spend your money and where you buy your tickets. There is also information given that can help you save time by skipping the long lines. This guide is easily found on the internet and is just one example of how to have extremely fun discounted family vacations.

Camping and going to the beach are also slightly cheaper ways to have a nice family vacation. After all, the most important part of a vacation is being with your family, in the end it doesn’t really matter where you go as long as good memories are being made. Discounted family vacations don’t have to mean discounted time spent together. And sometimes the lower cost vacations can be some of the best trips you can take. They are often more unique and allow you to see something in the world you might have missed otherwise. Being a part of the “usual” crowd and traveling to a resort may not offer the same experience as going to a small town and blending in with the community. A vacation doesn’t have to be expensive it just has to be a change in scenery, something different from your average daily routine.

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Children’s Piano Lessons
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Deciding upon children’s piano lessons can be a bit difficult. There are a lot of factors to consider before taking the leap into lessons. It isn’t always apparent if a child will want to study the piano and if they do not you may be spending a lot of unnecessary money. However, since children are incredibly receptive to learning at this age, taking piano lessons can be extremely beneficial even if it is only for a short time.

I’m sure most of the people you run across will say that they took piano as a child. Very few continue on past a few years, but even that bit of knowledge was helpful to their other studies. Learning coordination from playing the keys of a piano is very rewarding and music is a universal language. Without trying children’s piano lessons you may never discover that your child truly is gifted in this area. The best way to find out if your child is ready for lessons is to ask them. Many will jump at the chance; others may shy away from it and insist that they do not want to. I am a firm believer in trial and error and even if a child says no, it is sometimes best to keep the option open to them should they change their mind. They may discover a talent that otherwise would have gone unnoticed.

Piano lessons should not be forced upon a child however, and if they are put into lessons and it is clear that they do not have an interest or a talent for it it’s probably best to move them into another area. Perhaps another instrument or a sport would suit them better, but by having tried piano they are still better off than before. Children can learn a lot in a short amount of time. Children’s piano lessons can help them develop self discipline and improve mathematical skills, whether they take them for a few months to a year or more, the education would be money well spent.

The best time to start lessons is around age 5, but it is fine for children of any age to give piano lessons a try. Music is an important part of development; it can be hugely beneficial to a child and help them excel in other areas of their life. And since technology has made it possible to learn the piano online, it isn’t necessary to take traditional lessons anymore. You can still get quality children’s piano lessons without having to spend as much money. Weekly lessons can cost upwards of $17 which can add up to $800 per year. With most online programs you only pay a small one time fee, this opens the door for many people who simply cannot afford traditional lessons. A traditional lesson versus online instruction doesn’t really matter as long as there is the drive to learn.

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Budget Family Travel
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Saving for a vacation is difficult, especially if you live paycheck to paycheck. Vacations are usually the last thing you try to set money aside for because they aren’t a necessity. I would argue that they are a necessity since we all need a break from reality from time to time. If you are a parent you probably need a break even more than most! The best way to budget family travel when you are tight each month is to set aside just a small amount, around $20 to $40. This amount may seem insignificant when you are saving for a vacation that may cost upwards of $3000, but time is going to go by regardless, wouldn’t it be better to have something to put towards a vacation at the end of the year instead of nothing?

Vacations don’t all have to be extravagant either. You can have quite a nice relaxing vacation at the beach with your family for much less cost than a cruise or a trip to Hawaii. A break from reality is a break regardless of where you take it. We get into routines at home; there is always something to be done. Laundry, bills to pay, groceries to pick up. Everyday tasks keep us from taking a real break when we just stay home. This is why it is so important to budget family travel and make taking a break a high priority.

Stress is not healthy; a break from the daily grind is necessary in order to keep a balance in our busy lives. There is nothing quite like being able to just sit and watch the world go by and know that you don’t “have” to be doing anything or going anywhere. When one gets too wrapped up in life’s many demands we forget to take care of ourselves, this can have a damaging affect on our bodies. Vacations are the best way to unwind from a difficult year and although it may only be for a week, that one week is often the best way to recharge.

Another benefit to a vacation that can be overlooked if you don’t budget family travel is the educational aspect for your children. Being exposed to other places around the world is incredibly rewarding for a child; what they can learn from these experiences is priceless. By making a vacation with your family a priority and setting aside a little money each month, you will be paying yourself first in a way that will add a great deal of value to your life as well as your children’s lives.

The internet is a great place to find discounts and deals for a vacation, probably my greatest find was The Ultimate Disney World Savings Guide that showed me how to save around $2000 on a Disney World vacation. It was simple to find, I just searched the internet for the destination of my choice and found this bit of information that saved me nearly half of what I would have paid. Doesn’t hurt to try it, choose a place you’d like to go and see if there is anything out there that can help you.

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Reduce Parenting Stress
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Some excellent ways to reduce parenting stress when you have a toddler is to eliminate temper tantrums. This task may seem impossible to most, especially if tantrums are a daily occurrence at your house, but by changing how you communicate with your toddler it may be possible to not only decrease the amount of tantrums, but to prevent them entirely.

Distraction is probably the most important tool you can use in order to prevent temper tantrums. Children have very short attention spans and although the world may be coming to an end one moment because they have lost a toy or get frustrated trying to do something, the next moment could be entirely different. By using distraction to draw your child’s attention away from whatever is causing them to get upset, the tantrum could potentially be interrupted indefinitely. You can reduce parenting stress significantly by using this technique. Imagine having your day go from 10 temper tantrums to only 1, how amazing would that be?

Keeping a schedule is also a great way to keep the temper tantrum monster away. Children need structure, they thrive on it. You may not understand their need to know what is going on each moment of the day, but believe me they feel so much more secure in their surroundings when they know what to expect.

Don’t allow boredom to be the cause of a tantrum. Have fun activities planned for the day to keep your children occupied, this will reduce parenting stress and keep your children happy and well adjusted. They learn a lot of new skills each and every day; fun crafts or puzzles challenge them and help build their minds and prepare them for when they begin school.

Offering alternatives to toddlers is also a great way to avoid tantrums. When they feel like they have a choice in what they wear or what they eat, they are much more likely to do the things you ask of them.

These are great ways to reduce parenting stress. Simply eliminating temper tantrums from the parent toddler equation can bring a lot of peace and joy to your relationship. Temper tantrums are not fun; they can be scary, frustrating and embarrassing. By using the techniques above you can drastically decrease their frequency and intensity and enjoy the toddler years that much more.

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Potty Training Tips – Need Some Help?
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Just when you were finally getting the hang of things and were in a nice routine, it’s time to potty train your toddler! Not that you particularly like diapers, but the idea of dealing with accidents on your rug, bed, clothes or even car isn’t terribly appealing. So what is the first thing you need to do in order to make the process as seamless and pain free for everyone as possible? Below are a few potty training tips that might help.

First you will want to decide if it is really the right time for potty training. Whether or not your child is ready is the key to your success. Many people try to start too early and end up with regression problems or simply a long drawn out process that really doesn’t have to be that bad. Age isn’t as important as your child’s willingness to cooperate. If your child is interested in the process then it is probably time to start working on it. Other signs that they are ready include: staying dry for a few hours and waking dry after nap or bedtime, having consistent bowel movements at the same time everyday, and knowing whether or not they need to use the bathroom.

Once you’ve established that it is indeed the right time to introduce the toilet and either pull-ups or underwear, you will want to start the process by making frequent trips to the bathroom. Remember to have patience, you can’t force them to go, you can only encourage and offer the circumstances for their success. While this might seem strange to you at first, it can also be very helpful to let them watch you or your other children go to the bathroom. Children learn by example and this can be a great way to speed up the process. If you aren’t comfortable with this, many potty training tips include using a doll that wets as an alternative. If you are going to use this method, a great doll to use is the Aquini Potty Training Doll

There are many different methods and potty training tips that can help your child to use the potty, some work better than others. You’ll have to see what works the best for your child and then stay consistent. Consistency and patience is the key to getting over this hurdle, and there will be a few accidents a long the way. Stay positive and offer your children love and support and before you know it you’ll be done with diapers for good!

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