How to Talk to Toddlers
As a mother of two I can officially say that I speak two languages. The first is English and the second, toddler. If you have ever been around a toddler you know this to be true. Their little minds work so differently from our own that in order to deal with them and communicate effectively you have to change how you communicate. By learning how to talk to toddlers early on, I have been able to side step many conflicts that normally would have resulted in a tantrum.
The techniques I use are really quite simple, common sense sometimes and other times just approaching things from a different perspective. For example, if my toddler asks me for a cookie and it is an inappropriate time for a cookie, rather than simply saying no I approach the subject in the following way. I assure my child that I heard their request and that I would love to comply, but in order to allow them to have the cookie they would have to do something in return. For instance, if it is close to dinnertime I would let them know that they could have the cookie if they eat 5 pieces of broccoli. If they are asking for the cookie at bedtime then I would let them know that they could definitely have one in the morning after they completed a task of my choosing. I choose to pick my battles, having a cookie is not a big deal; saying no entirely to the request could become a very big deal. So instead of saying no, I change the situations to work towards my advantage. If I need them to do something, allowing them to have something they’ve asked for anyway can be a great way to bargain.
I’m sure you are saying to yourself, “that would never work in my house.” You may be right, but this could be for a couple of reasons; your requests are new to them and at first defiance is going to be their initial response. Also if they are used to getting their way or being told no there is a trust that must first be gained. Once your children understand that you will follow through with your agreement with them and that you are the authority figure and you aren’t going to give in, future results using this technique will improve. But that being said, I realize that all children are different and some techniques simply aren’t going to work for them. All you can do is try; changing your own techniques and how you talk to toddlers is a much better choice then simply putting up with unwanted tantrums.
If you’d like to avoid tantrums completely, change how you approach situations. If you are going to request something, like getting dressed, be sure to have a pleasant tone of voice and form your request in a way that your child will feel like they are helping you out if they comply. Also, give them a choice, instead of just saying “go get dressed” ask them which pants they’d like to wear that day, pink or blue? Giving a toddler two options to something will almost always result in them picking one and jumping right into the task at hand without feeling like they are doing a “chore”.
My final advice is to always come down to their level if a tantrum is about to start. By looking them straight in the eyes and showing them understanding and compassion, they are much more likely to respond in a positive way. Learning how to talk to toddlers in this fashion can be the difference between a huge temper tantrum and no tantrum at all.
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